Giving Thanks

Just wanna give thanks to life,
For everything i've been thru, going thru, for it made me who i am, for better or for worse. haha

met up with my primary school friends last night, and caught up with each other, quite warming that despite the pulls and pushs that we went thru, the ups and downs in our friendship, we managed to stay friends, hehe. esp with my personality. hur hur..

it's quite interesting to realized that our conversations now are about family, work, kids at home, health issues, mid-life crisis,  travelling, planning for solo life in future, like saving a sum of money for our old age. It seems like eons ago when our conversations were abt boyfriends, fashion, neo prints, finding a husband, school stress, grades, canteen food, CCAs,  * wistful smile*

Cheers to our 21 years of friendship and many more years to come. =)

we might not always see each other, but we will always be there for each other in times of darkness



Life

Currently I am feeling stuck. and almost ready to give up the fight. Giving in to the Nua- monster. used to want to do alot of things all at the same time. causing alot of internal fights between my id, ego and superego, leaving me feeling upset with myself the whole time, simply cause my body can no longer take the crap i put on myself. and something significant happened to me which i believe is a rock being thrown at me to make me re-evaluate my life, what i want vs. what i need.

mid life crisis, I will most probably get out of education after this year, there only so much bull i can take after 11 odd years of being in this line. from kids, parents, management. I understand it's the same crap everywhere but at least a really different environment, all these mirco stuff of who took whose's space, which colleague targeted whose's students, i remote controlled the mosqitoes to just bite a single kid, dealing with all the naggy ah-mas and end up getting a feedback that my attitude was very bad. wtf max.  all these kinda made my vision grow narrower. i dun want to become one of those definitely. Just really want to let go of all this nonsense.

for now, education line is slowly but surely going the wrong path for me, look around you, all those who grew up with 'love education' can name me someone who is actually functional? what is the value now? $ or moral? just feel like it's one huge rat race with who has the best stuff, house, results, salary, latest gadgets.

I've been searching for a reason to hang on, to hold on to being in this line. some of my students gave me that reason, but many are the reasons that i want to leave too. for now, i'm just holding on becoz of one student. but come end of the year, he wun be my student anymore. =<

Planning to take a break, after all my financial issues have been settled, escape to Tioman for abit before returning to working life. haha.... yes... dreaming... well, it's nice to dream once in a while.

Taking a leap of Faith

(Bungy Jump at Phuket 20 May12)