Childcare Rant #1

was actually suppose to go to sleep but my mind just end up going thru the things i will be lecturing my kids on Monday. There is a concern in my classroom now. Butt touching.
It started on Thursday, with a kid actually touching my butt. but i thought it was because I wore a dress for the first time that the kids were curious. I didn't want to be over reacting.
Today, while at the playground, the kids were actually purposing groping butts and pulling pants down. This really rings alarm bells for me, seriously got hell from me. and the kids doing this were supposedly the brighter kids in my class. so, what does it mean? i haven't taught them morally what is right or wrong? they were just playing? and most importantly, where did they 'learn' it from? from me? that would be so totally omfg la.
they got a dressing down from me obviously. but i think it deserve a longer punishment period which i will make next week into. have i allowed them too much freedom? that gave them time to think of all these nonsense? and the most disturbing thing is , it's the girls who are groping the boys. @_@
I do not dress provocatively in case any smart alec tries to annoy me. or is it simply kids are just maturing too fast now? can;t believe i'm losing sleep over this. at the same time, i dun want to see them in the news another 20 yrs time that some of them become perverts. ok. maybe a bit far stretched. but wells......

at the same time, i don't know why, i just thought about this incident maybe 2 years back, this kid who took things from the centre and kept them in her bag. she actually took out her own belongings and replaced them with art materials in her bag. i think that is a very obvious intent to steal. not to mention the many toys parts she took. When caught and we informed the parents, the parents just said, 'oh, because at her grandma hse, she can just take a plastic bag and take whatever she wants'
ermm.. ok... what are you trying to teach your kid? the world is her oyster and she can just take things if she likes them? alright for a 4 yr old, how about when she reaches 14?
maybe it's a small issue for some people. 'aiyah, she still young ma, she dunno ma...'

well, the cold hard truth is , THEY KNOW. they know exactly what they are doing. this is no longer the era when kids are 'gong gong' and dunno anything, they also know, their parents will jump on their side no matter how wrong they are.

well. i know this is a losing battle. in the end, it's still a 'customer is always right' mentality

hopefully i can slp now that i got it out of my system.

Giving Thanks

Just wanna give thanks to life,
For everything i've been thru, going thru, for it made me who i am, for better or for worse. haha

met up with my primary school friends last night, and caught up with each other, quite warming that despite the pulls and pushs that we went thru, the ups and downs in our friendship, we managed to stay friends, hehe. esp with my personality. hur hur..

it's quite interesting to realized that our conversations now are about family, work, kids at home, health issues, mid-life crisis,  travelling, planning for solo life in future, like saving a sum of money for our old age. It seems like eons ago when our conversations were abt boyfriends, fashion, neo prints, finding a husband, school stress, grades, canteen food, CCAs,  * wistful smile*

Cheers to our 21 years of friendship and many more years to come. =)

we might not always see each other, but we will always be there for each other in times of darkness



Life

Currently I am feeling stuck. and almost ready to give up the fight. Giving in to the Nua- monster. used to want to do alot of things all at the same time. causing alot of internal fights between my id, ego and superego, leaving me feeling upset with myself the whole time, simply cause my body can no longer take the crap i put on myself. and something significant happened to me which i believe is a rock being thrown at me to make me re-evaluate my life, what i want vs. what i need.

mid life crisis, I will most probably get out of education after this year, there only so much bull i can take after 11 odd years of being in this line. from kids, parents, management. I understand it's the same crap everywhere but at least a really different environment, all these mirco stuff of who took whose's space, which colleague targeted whose's students, i remote controlled the mosqitoes to just bite a single kid, dealing with all the naggy ah-mas and end up getting a feedback that my attitude was very bad. wtf max.  all these kinda made my vision grow narrower. i dun want to become one of those definitely. Just really want to let go of all this nonsense.

for now, education line is slowly but surely going the wrong path for me, look around you, all those who grew up with 'love education' can name me someone who is actually functional? what is the value now? $ or moral? just feel like it's one huge rat race with who has the best stuff, house, results, salary, latest gadgets.

I've been searching for a reason to hang on, to hold on to being in this line. some of my students gave me that reason, but many are the reasons that i want to leave too. for now, i'm just holding on becoz of one student. but come end of the year, he wun be my student anymore. =<

Planning to take a break, after all my financial issues have been settled, escape to Tioman for abit before returning to working life. haha.... yes... dreaming... well, it's nice to dream once in a while.

Taking a leap of Faith

(Bungy Jump at Phuket 20 May12)

drowning

drowning in a sea of negativity

Beijing2012

An attempt to vlog my trip to Beijing. =) 

Enjoy!

不想长大

最近去面试当校长，聊着聊着就开始在想， 我真的那么要当校长吗？

其实也纯粹想要出一口气，让看不起我的人对我另眼相看。

之后呢。。 又在想， 为什么跟自己过不去叻。。 当了头，一定会失去一些自由。

我可以接受吗？

我觉得自己还是个孩子， 哈哈。。。 对啦， 长不大， 就只想着玩，还是‘风心’咯。。

可能还不定性，也许这一生也不会定下来吧。。。

面试也有问我到底想要做什么，真心话就是坏游世界和跳舞咯。。。

当然没有说这个啦。。 哎。。。

为什么人都是忙忙碌碌，到底是为了什么？

如果说是为了老了才坏游世界，可是老了你还能走多远呢？如果说为了下一代， 这个。。 可能还真的没办法了。养育孩子就是一份责任。

所以还真的没办法扛起这种责任，就是不想长大

自私吗？

站时就先停留在这里了。未来的是以后再打算了。。 =/

the picture says all

doodles

playing with 'mouth' expressions. hmm.... guess i wasn't paying much attention during lessons.. keke~

The Animal Farm

Just my 2cents worth on the recent events that happened

In this fast pace society and even faster pace virtual reality world. everything spread like wild fire.

it kinds of remind me of my literature text, the animal farm, which of course we are all the sheeps in it. whatever the media says/ post/ rant (?) we will just rush like mad towards it. without checking the validity or 'real-ness' of it.

'baa... 2 legs good, 4 legs baaad'

for instance, the kony cause, i agree it is for a good cause, but do the recipients even want this kind of help? and of so many things to fight for, lack of food, education etc, why would you even want to spent money playing hide and seek with this person?

it's like having a bone but also wanting the bone from the reflection of the water.

yes, the children who got kidnapped are poor things. but what about those who didn't? -shrugs-

like a mother mourning a lost child but neglecting those who are still alive... doesn't make sense to my small brain anyways.

and kony will eventually grow old and die anyway. killing someone wun bring back the dead.

the world is not fair. in anotherpoint of view, we are still kinda like in a food chain. if kony is a shark, we are the fishes, shark eat fish. end of story. life goes on

'4 legs good, 2 legs baadd'

there are just too many things in this world that are unfair, cruel, crazy

but we are born in this era, the era of change, the era of being blind, being confine to boxes, being unappreciated, being expected of, being judged, being belittled, confused, stepped on,

to be at peace is to accept.

Accept is a big word.

Just do what is within your abilities and fuck the rest.

maybe the africans will be thinking, what poor souls we have, having every material thing avalible but our souls are so poor and hollow that we just ran blindly everywhere.

knowing doesn't equal understanding

understanding doesn't equal accepting

accepting doesn't mean you have to know or understand.

what is...?

just been wondering, what makes a relationship work......

From being blindly in love...

To being woken up by wedding bells, after which being bound by wedding vows...

Maybe, there will be habits that annoys you but you never noticed before...

certain characteristics that were not there before...

you will fight...

But you will make up as well... ( come on guys, even if it's not your fault, make the first move!)

since both have chosen each other, thru thick or thin, sbs or smrt, rich or poor, ponding or flooding, in sickness or in health, 1K salary or 2K, cherish the fate that brought u together, the one beside you, is the 'good' you done in the previous ten lives (chinese saying), Keep communicating till the day you can't and when that day comes, hold each other's hand and just keep walking.


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am currenty having some issues with my keyboard, with the Fn key jammed, it not even funny lor... =/ maybe its a sign to get something new *spendthrifth mode*

Best

I may not be the best, but i will always do my best.